barbara walters just said penis...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
