...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
