At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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