i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
