Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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