I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
