none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
