whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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