I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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