Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
