Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize