Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
