After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
