So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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