I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
