Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
