Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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