Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I lost the right to judge tonight
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
