yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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