dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
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Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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