Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!