Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina