Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face