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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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• (858): View more from California

  So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh that's normal

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Best superhero ever to exist

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"

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