Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job

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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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(562): View more from California

you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.

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(631): View more from New York

His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

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(252): View more from North Carolina

A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.

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