Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"