Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Tell her she can't have a vagina

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(517): Tell her she can't have a vagina http://tfl.nu/krch

Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (640)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.

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(937): Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in. http://tfl.nu/kwq2

Replies (24) Good night (3487) Bad night (668)
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(714): View more from California

why do cheetos always look like penises

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(714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj

Replies (41) Good night (3702) Bad night (1349)
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(607): View more from New York

Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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(607): Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked http://tfl.nu/f67s

Replies (25) Good night (4904) Bad night (785)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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(803): already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever? http://tfl.nu/cbh0

Replies (28) Good night (4297) Bad night (860)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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(306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3

Replies (23) Good night (5636) Bad night (3292)
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(971): View more from Oregon

one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.

(706): View more from Georgia

i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...

(971): View more from Oregon

it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.

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(971): one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull. (706): i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer... (971): it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible. http://tfl.nu/efvs

Replies (9) Good night (4200) Bad night (925)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

(478): View more from Georgia

Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

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(843): I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues. (478): Moment of silence for the loss of that option. http://tfl.nu/jcvy

Replies (29) Good night (2020) Bad night (7230)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.

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(612): Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down. http://tfl.nu/yekc

Replies (15) Good night (1534) Bad night (2304)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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(250): God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not. http://tfl.nu/2nya

Replies (6) Good night (2082) Bad night (526)
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(210): View more from Texas

I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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(210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s

Replies (8) Good night (450) Bad night (1052)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.

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(208): I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw. http://tfl.nu/7hkg

Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (317)
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(425): View more from Washington

Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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(425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8

Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (261)
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(607): View more from New York

Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L

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(607): Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L http://tfl.nu/7ned

Replies (3) Good night (440) Bad night (242)
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(714): View more from California

I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.

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(714): I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over. http://tfl.nu/3mpl

Replies (15) Good night (356) Bad night (1459)

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