i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
