can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize