? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
