I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
