We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
