Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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