Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
