I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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