a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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