You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He better not be in your backpack
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
