Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
