Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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