His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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