Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
