You're my little dorito
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
