i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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