Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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