u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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