If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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