I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
