just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize