She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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