you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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