Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize