Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
