Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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