I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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