First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
