Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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