He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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