yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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