Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
