Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
