idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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