i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
