Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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