he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
